Tuesday, 8 September 2015
The Loner Syndrome
Every now and then I get a bit of madness in my head and all I want is to just be left alone. I want to be able to log a game, play it and not have to deal with any social interaction at all. I don't feel like talking to anyone then and I get very grumpy when people try and talk to me.
Right now I'm having a few of those "Loner" days where I just want to be able to log a game (preferably WoW or FFXIV), do my thing and not have to worry about people. Be it friends, guildies or random strangers... I just don't want anything to do with you.
I'm not really sure where these moods come from. Usually I'm a very social person, outgoing and slightly annoyed when I have no one to talk to in my games. But I guess sometimes it just gets to be a bit too much and I just want to retreat in my own little world, playing my own games.
The thing is that in MMO's you're never really alone and people will bother you, whether you like it or not... And I'm not sure how to deal with that. In groups for dungeons I tend to just stay quiet and go about my business, be that healing, tanking or DPSing. When you have friends online however and they start talking to you... It's not easy to tell them that you just need some time for yourself.
I think it's one of the reasons I've been avoiding logging FFXIV for the past weeks. Seeing as we want to start up the raiding group to run Alexander and whatnot I feel pressured to play. And once I feel pressured I lose all interest in playing. Which is a real shame because I love FFXIV to death. I just really don't feel like socializing too much right now. Even raiding in WoW has become a task for me seeing as I'm one of the people calling out stuff on TS...
I just feel a bit socially exhausted I guess.
Blogging, blogging, blogging
Tied in to being socially exhausted I'm also in a bit of an awkward spot with my blog. I get ideas to blog at stupid times (like when I'm going to bed) and then try to put them off untill the morning... Only to completely forget about them again. I have too many things to write about... And not enough. It feels a bit weird. Maybe it's mostly because a part of me still thinks that no one is interested in what I'm writing here anyway. Which shouldn't be an issue because I started this blog for myself, to be able to write down my opinion about things, rant about silly stuff and be excited for upcoming games. And yet I want to be able to "deliver" to my audience. It's a strange conundrum and one I'm seriously struggling with.
Add the fact that Blaugust may have exhausted me a bit... I just really don't want to go back to only posting a few times a month.